The little things indeed matter in relationships. But that usually refers to small gestures like compliments, good-morning, good-night texts, and buying your partner something that reminds them of you. In the long run, however, the little things will be those unrelated to your relationship but essential in your daily life as a couple.
You’ll discover what those things are when you move in together. Stuff you didn’t use to pay attention to—like the color of bed sheets or the amount of salt you put in your dishes—will start to matter. And if you and your partner don’t reach a common ground with those little things, your relationship might fall apart.
As exaggerated as that sounds, it’s unfortunately true. Many couples were broken apart by disagreements on household matters. So before moving in with the love of your life, expect these seemingly insignificant things to affect your relationship:
1. Furniture Choices
If you’re moving into an unfurnished home, you’d probably be excited to shop for furniture together. After all, furnishing is the best part of buying a new home. But if your tastes don’t match, furniture shopping can turn into a nightmare.
While a clashing taste in furniture pieces won’t break you apart, it can certainly challenge your dynamic. Would you marry your two styles or compromise? Marrying your styles might work better if none of you backs down. If one of you is willing to compromise, then there should be no hard feelings.
However, marrying styles also require a bit of compromise. You can’t fuse two different styles without removing some elements from each style. To arrive with a design that’ll satisfy both of you, you have to discuss how you want your home to look and feel. Talk about your non-negotiables, too; for example, you most likely need a home office if you work from home. If your partner works out religiously every day, they might require a home gym.
Talk about your style in art and home decor as well. Do you like landscapes, but your partner prefers abstract? At least, different paintings can be placed on different parts of the home, so your clashing tastes shouldn’t cause a problem.
2. Future-proofing the House
When furnishing a new home, it’s easy to focus on the present, filling the space with furniture and decor you want now. But what if a life-changing event happens in the future, like having a baby?
If you have a big home, it will be easier to prepare for a baby. One unused room can be the nursery, and no other room has to change. But if you live in a two-bedroom apartment or single-family home, a lot of space will be used for the baby. You might be forced to sacrifice a man cave or a home theater then, or the baby will have no room.
You can let the baby sleep in your room if that won’t be a problem for you and your partner. However, co-sleeping with an infant is risky, so parents are advised against doing it until the baby can already roll over on their own. But if it is unavoidable to sleep with your baby, talk to your partner about your mattress options. Yes, the type of your mattress matters if you’d co-sleep with an infant.
Pediatricians recommend a high-quality firm mattress with tight-fitting sheets. So if your partner likes a soft mattress without springs, they might be disappointed to learn that they can’t have it. But at least you won’t be sleeping with your infant for long. Tell them to endure for just a few months, and all should be well.
It’s definitely easier to prepare a meal for just one person. That doesn’t mean preparing meals for you, and your beloved isn’t fun, though, but it can be stressful. You’re two different people who grew up in two separate households. That means you’re used to different things when it comes to food.
Diets can also affect your meal choices. What if you’re vegan, and they’re not? Or they’re gluten-intolerant? Planning your meals can be difficult if you have sensitivities to a particular food. It’s not advisable to order meals every day since that can deplete your savings and cause a bigger fight.
So before moving in together, find out everything you can about each other, including their daily habits, unusual routines, and pet peeves. But note that you can still surprise each other even when you already live under one roof. If you notice something you dislike about the way they live, address the issue calmly, and don’t judge their different upbringing. Remember that you’re trying to fit into their life too, so both of you should make adjustments.